Cassidy Steele Dale writes to equip you with the forecasts, foresight skills and perspectives, and tools you may need to create a better, kinder world.
And one of those ways is to give you something to keep in your pocket for a rainy day.
OK, you’re going to need this someday — or today. Or someone you love will.
So if you are having a rough day at work and/or your casino-heist-has-gone-wrong-and-you’re-in-the-back-of-the-squad-car-with-your-climbing-gear-still-on and you just need to laugh or cry, the following may help.
If you need a peppier-sounding version of what’s going through your head right now… [Trigger warning: The S-word.]
If instead you’re demoralized and need an anthem for the break room… [Trigger warnings: The F-word. Haberdashery.]
While you’re miser-ating and commiserating, you’ll need to eat. Here’s the right cooking video for you. [Approval warning: She uses Duke’s mayo.]
If you need some industrial-strength epic-grade silliness… here’s Jack Black playing a toy saxophone with The Roots — but it’s called a Sax-A-Boom, thank you very much. [Trigger warning: Hasbro. Probably.]
If you need a song that should not exist, here’s Jack Black and Kyle Gass (a.k.a. Tenacious D) performing a classic from the Britney Spears oeuvre. [Trigger warning: Kung Fu beards]
For extra points but-I’m-not-gonna-embed-this-here-because-it’s-probably-not-safe-for-work-but-you’re-gonna-snort-milk-out-your-nose-at-the-middle-school-lunchroom-table-and-then-you’re-gonna-send-it-to-three-people-you-like-and-two-people-you-don’t, here’s Tenacious D’s remake of Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” — the song and the video. If you’ve seen the original video of Chris Isaak frolicking in the surf with a not-entirely-clothed Helena Christensen, well… this one is of Jack Black and Kyle Gass running-into-the-surf-while-mostly-not-entirely-clothed-getting-smacked-by-one-cold-wave-and-NOPE-ing-right-back-out-of-the-water. In slow motion. So, you know… sexy. [Trigger warning: Fruit of the Loom.]
In case you need some film classics played by a vuvuzela virtuoso... [Trigger warning: That paper towel tube you blew at the dog when you were nine.]
If you just need a sweetie-doggie listening to someone play him a Beatles song. [Trigger warning: fuzzy faaaaaaaaace.]
In case the world has worn you down but you just won’t give up and you just have to go full Gloria Gaynor and sing “I Will Survive”… but on a rubber chicken. [Trigger warning: Disco.]
For extra-chicken-points, here’s “Funkytown.” [Trigger warning: 1980]
If you need some nonsense that reminds you you’re good deep down inside. [Trigger warning: Giants]
And if you need an I’ve-come-too-far-to-go-back-now song and How-do-their-voices-DO-that? here’s Joseph. [Trigger warning: NPR vibe… ish.]
But if you need absolutely none of those and instead you just want to dance around in your bedroom like a maniac with the volume turned up way too loud… I give you The Regrettes. [Trigger warning: Your kids are going to dance with you. Or your dog will.]
OK… better now? Was it the dog? I bet it was the dog.
Send this to somebody who needs it.
And I’ll see you next week.